CARE Sheet 1/30/11, Philemon 3 of 3

ICE BREAKER What do you think about this guys advice about helping a friend and finding forgiveness?

Title: The Accountability Triangle

Text: Philemon 18-19; Colossians 4:7-9;  (Supporting texts: James 5:16; Deut. 9:13-20; Numbers 16:45-49)


How many people traveled to Colosse to deliver the letters, Colossians & Philemon which Paul wrote? Philemon 12; Colossians 4:7-9 What are their names?  And what was the expressed reason for Onesimus’ travel partner?  (Col. 4:8)

Visualize the “triangle” of relationships and emotions tied to each relationship in Philemon 17-20.

  • Philemon & Paul (relationship) _______________ (emotion) _______________
  • Philemon & Onesimus, before           (relationship) _______________ (emotion) _______________
  • Paul & Onesimus                     (relationship) _______________ (emotion) _______________
    • Philem 17-18 “So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.  If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me.”
  • Philemon & Onesimus, now  (relationship) _______________ (emotion) _______________

When do we see other times when “someone” didn’t want to forgive others?  What happened? Numbers 16:45-49 Deuteronomy 9:13-19

What seems to be a common theme about restoring relationships? Num. 16:48; Deut. 9:19; Eph. 2:14-16; Rom. 5:10; Philippians 4:2-4

List as many different elements, relationships, commands, and anticipated results mentioned in James 5:16 that are related to forgiveness.


Can you recall any restored relationships in your life and a third party that supported you both and provided accountability or mediation?

Can you recall any relationships that have not been restored… Did you attempt to find someone to help with accountability or mediation?

What is the difference between litigation and mediation?

What are some key rules to Christian mediation?

10.  What are some indicators that a person has really repented and honestly wants reconciliation not just a relaxing of consequences? Forgiveness-Repentance

CONNECTING TO THE CHURCH: (Disclaimer: the following resources are directed toward Christian leaders that have fallen into sin and in need of time and accountability in their restoration.  Onesimus was not a fallen Christian leader.  He was  lost person needing Christ and needing restoration to a previously hurt Christian leader)

What are some resources available to help Christian Leaders find restoration with other Christians and with God?

a. Restoring the Fallen by Wilson, Friesen, Paulson

b. Restoration Manual: by Pedigo

c. Restoring the Soul counseling center

12.  When and how might fallen leaders be restored to Kingdom work?

Our church's Shepherding Policy

The Test of Love Tract


Title: “Do We Deserve God’s Grace? ”

Text: 2 Chr. 12:1-8; 2 Chr. 21:7; 2 Chr. 7:14

  1. What was Shemaiah’s message to the leaders of Judah?  2 Chr. 12:5-8
  2. Why did God not destroy Judah? 2 Chr. 21:7
  3. What does God look for to bring Him to forgive and heal? 2 Chr. 7:14